Wicked Game
Sometimes I'll go to random people's MySpace pages and listen to their tunes while I do things like blog. My younger cousin Ali has some cool songs on her play list, one being Chris Issak's "Wicked Game". I even remember what happened in my life listening to this song. It was my senior year at Redlands High School. I would sometimes drive up around Sunset and the Redlands Country Club which was on a canyon/ cliff. I remembered rainy days. I remembered having a crush on Sean Kenny. I remembered the anxiety of wondering if I will get into my first choice college, UC Irvine.
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Berlin's "Take My Breath Away"
A love ballad from the movie "Top Gun". It's what Rich does to me at times. He amazes me, surprises me. As each day passes, I see something new, find something fresh that I discover from him. I see photos of us and we just look so good together as if we belong. My honeybun or honbun as I would say. I am his love. He is my honbun.
The End of an Era
Today marks Joe's 34th birthday. Before I would be sad, wishing that I could be there with him wishing him another year of happiness, I do so, my e-mails not being replied to.
Now the sadness is over.
There's something real and wonderful being with Rich. Just spending time with him where he really wants to be with you and loves you for who you are. Not having to be the perfect girlfriend all the time and being on my toes. Where I can be myself. No drama or gore or craziness. All 100 percent pure love without a trace of sugar or sappiness.
Goodbye Joseph. Hello Richard.
List of things to do after AIDS/ LifeCycle 6
1) Bake a pie for Rich
2) Go to the new stadium and watch a ballgame with Rich
3) Go to an Episcopal service with Rich
4) Bake pies and experiment more in the kitchen
5) Go to the Farmer's Market more often
6) Spend time with friends
7) Spend time with Rich
Note there is a thread here. Not that I don't spend enough time with Rich. I just want more time to spend with Rich.
Spring
In my life, there are certain markers that signify spring for me- brighter colors; green garlic, strawberries, dafodils and sweet pea blossoms at the Farmer's Market; baseball season starting up, warmer weather or better yet, foggier days here in the City.
This Spring is a little different. I have Rich in my life that makes me smile and puts the best of all four seasons rolled into one. Just recently, he made some modifications to his MySpace and Friendster pages that totally make me smile.
Another Spring bonus- I found out that my friend Cin is 3.5 months pregnant! I'm so excited for her since her and her husband Kevin have been trying for so long. We had brunch today and seeing that bump on her and her looking so radiant made me really happy for her.
I'm really looking forward to Monday. It marks our 1 month anniversary and Rich won't tell me what he has planned. I wonder what Mr. Lagunte has planned up his sleeve.
Happy
I haven't felt this happy in a long long time. Being with Rich is like having all of my favorite things all rolled into one all the time. We have spent quite a lot of time with each other. We have met each other's friends. I'm so into him I don't know where to begin. And it's not an into that person that is obsessive or possessive or needy. But it's a genuine love and affection for the other one.
I will admit that I still do have some memories of Joe. The feelings are not really there anymore. I do think about him at times. A friend told me that is natural because if someone has been a big part of your life, you think about them.
I bite my lower lip thinking about Joe. The time together was rather bittersweet for the both of us. Maybe we can become friends eventually I don't really know.
But for now, I want to swim in my happiness that I have with Rich. And I am.
