Detox
Last night, I met up with Rachel, Jorge, Ken and Teddo for yet another Paper Pills show. Since I am in their home turf of So Cal for a few weeks (same home turf as my folks), I was fortunate to see them play.
Since I am on medication, you got it, no booze. I only had one beer, some Stella but I was craving for food as was Kyoko, Ken's girlfriend. Only she ended up meeting wth friends after the show in Pasadena. After I left the Knitting Factory, I just grabbed some chili cheese fries from Tommy's.
What makes one gag more- alcohol or anything from Tommy's? Tommy's where the burgers and hot dogs and fries are piled on with chili...makes one shudder quite a bit. But, I figured it's a good hangover cure.
Now I'm drinkng lots of water to get the Tommy stuff omut of my system.
one hundred eighty degrees
A few months ago, I spied a pretty cute Filipino guy at after Mass. Actually I spied him several times when I went there but never got who he was. I introduced myself and let the big ballsy whipper snapper part of me comment to the point where he got a little shell shocked. And he was off for Italy to continue onto his master's program in divinity studies.
Here's the thing though. Just for kicks, I thought I would google the guy. Turns out that he is...no not a serial killer. But a champion collegic and ametuer Latin dancer champ. I knew that he could dance but he could DANCE??? Holy shit. He also taught dance and coached kids to compete in competitions. That all changed after September 11th when one of his dear friends died in the attacks. That called him to really at his life and take more stock in his faith. He still does dance but combines ministry with dance. Was Jesus really a ballroom dancer, I dunno.
Conventional wisdom says that you usually find good quality guys in church. Usually is the key word.
I'm just blown away. Just like that Chanel No. 5 commerical with "Clair de Lune" playing in the background and Nicole Kidman in it.
I Struggle
I struggle so much with so many issues right now.
The sun is out but the wind is brisk. I need more than my sweatshirt to cover me. I was thinking of taking a walk to the park but found myself not knowing where to go. Still scracthing my head on what my body wants to eat, what it craves- pasta, a cheeseburger, sex.
Just got off the phone with my spiritual director. We dug up a lot of things together. Things that I would never even touch in my spiritual life.
I struggle to let go of a ghost from my past. I struggle to construct my future.
We all struggle. That's the joy of living and being, isn't it?
Finding Your Core
I'm not talking about abdominal muscles. I'm more talking about finding that passion, that thing that makes your self soar. Sometimes we are so afraid to engage in our passions. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of not making enough money. Fear of that lack of the safety net. Isn't it when our passions and internal gifts are engaged, we in some way are supported.
It is in where I engage in my passion in AIDS activism where it makes me alive and feeling engaged. After feeling all out of sorts this past week, I found myself renewed and centered after going to a prayer service for World AIDS Day yesterday.
Remember the passion. Remember the passion.
